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We had been through those arguments:
"IsnÁt religion a necessary organizing force in society?"
"Religion conditions people to blind obedience but I think it is the antithesis of modern democratic society where we respect the individual and we want our laws to reflect majority opinion, rather than divine rights."
"DonÁt many people need religion to give them a moral compass?"
"Probably not. Atheists are underrepresented in our prisons. And religion seems to be the motivation for many who go awry, for example the Son of Sam, Jim Jones, and of course, Adolph Hitler."
"But church does most of the charity work in this country."
"The church collects almost 70% of the nations charity dollar, and only about 2% of that goes to what you and I would call charity workgiving free or subsidized help to indigent people. Religious charities get most of their money from government."
And then he asked the question. More than anything, I think he wanted to know if I was so hostile to religion that I wouldnÁt acknowledge its virtues.
IÁve had years to work on the metaphor, and this is the answer I should have given. "Yes, religion does some good. ItÁs similar to alcohol. For most people, it makes them feel better and really does little, if any, harm. Perhaps people could find more effective way to relax or to get social courage, but alcohol certainly works well enough for many. It even has some health benefits, though we can get the same benefit in other ways.
"Of course, some people canÁt handle alcohol, as some canÁt handle religion. Those with moderate problems usually learn to avoid it. We might suspect that those with severe problems would have a dependency on something else if it were not for alcohol.
"But what if alcohol consumption received the social support that religion does?
"What if our government distributed food for the indigent at the local bars? What if SeagramÁs owned most of the hospitals in the country, collected Medicaid and Medicare money, got research grants, but refused to treat alcohol-related problems with anything other than a lecture on abstinence?
"What if candidates for national office had a habit of identifying with a popular brand of whisky? And if they all closed their speeches with, instead of ÇGod bless you,Á a raised shot glass and a ÇHereÁs to youÁ?
"What if there were a movement to put the directions on mixing a Martini on the walls of our schools, and the students who saw themselves as most virtuous met at the flag pole every morning for a group toast?
"What if good parents made sure their children sat by the side of the bed for a nightcap just before going to sleep and, even if they didnÁt go themselves, sent the little ones to the kiddy-bar each Sunday morning?
"What if we were asked to pledge allegiance to Çone nation, guzzling beerÁ and our money proclaimed our motto, ÇFor Rum We LustÁ?
"What if television and radio stations gave public service announcements, such as ÇThe family that drinks together links togetherÁ?
"What if we looked to distillers for guidance when we faced moral dilemmas, such as genetic engineering? Or if couples were advised to consult their bartender when they faced marital problems?.
"What if people came door-to-door, persistently proffering liquor to those who didnÁt get out to the neighborhood bar on their own?
"What if those who didnÁt patronize a particular liquor dealer were constantly invited to their friendsÁ favorite house of spirits, with the admonition, ÇYou should go somewhereÁ?
"What if children grew up thinking that if they didnÁt like the taste of alcohol or if they didnÁt enjoy the buzz, there was something wrong with them?
"I think that in such an environment, alcohol would do a great deal more damage, but few would ever suspect it, because drinking would be seen as a solution, not a problem, and if it proved an inadequate solution, the only response would be that we need more alcohol."