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"Dear Abby: Six months ago, my husband said he was going out to bring back a loaf of bread.  I havent seen him since.  My question is, should I give him some more time, or should I go out and buy a loaf of bread myself?"

Alright, maybe it isn't all that funny, but the point of the joke is the idiocy of a woman who is waiting far beyond a reasonable length of time for her husbands return.

Now, switch to just last month, to a street corner in San Pedro.  A woman evangelist is blaring out her message with a bullhorn to everyone within a half block radius.

Surprisingly enough, despite the fact that San Pedro is a predominantly Hispanic neighborhood, the woman was speaking English.  That bothered me, for some reason, since the evangelistic sects target catholic Hispanics, for the most part.

What she said was, "This is the season that we celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus, but Jesus is not a baby anymore and he is coming back -- soon!"

So, that was her message - the old, "Prepare - Jesus return is imminent!"  Then, she said, "I know he is coming soon because the Bible says so!"  Well, that borders on circular reasoning.  Saying something youve read in the Bible is true because the Bible says so" doesn't prove very much to me.

What really bothered me was the word, "soon".  If the Bible says it, that means it was said 2000 years ago!

Which brings us back to the joke at the beginning of this column.  Maybe the Christians should write to Abby and ask this:

"Dear Abby:  The Christian apostles said Jesus was returning soon.  I waited six months.  I waited six years.  I waited sixty years.  It has now been almost two thousand years.

"My question, dear Abby, is: should I continue waiting, or should I give up?"

I wanted to say something to that evangelist that day, but I didn't feel like getting into a street corner religious argument.  What I would have liked to have said to her is, "Lady, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but it doesn't look like hes coming back.  Not soon, at least, if ever.  Im going to give it to you straight - you have been stood up!"

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